Mental Happy Hour

i take a shot of you in the morning
thinking that some how i'll get high off how i imagine you to be
somehow i'll get lifted off my imaginations picture of who i thought you were
and ill be ready to face the world
the people who reject the love i have growing inside of me
because i know some version of you has my back

i take a shot of you in the afternoon
hoping that there's a way to get through my day without feeling
what it is that i really feel for you
i create illustrious illusions in my mind not to be mistaken for delusions
because it's real
in some past ... or future
because just because the you I'm hanging on to isnt current
does not mean it's any less real

i take a shot of you at night
praying that somehow you'll wake up as who i need you to be
and as i lay in bed ..alone
i ask the imagined you to hold me
and i lay
and i stare
and i wait
and just like from the original i get no reply
so i wrap my arms around myself
the truth wins out